Not Getting Takers... Too Tired to See Anyone Anyway!

I simply could not get a decent bite over the weekend! A few "jerks" called me, but no one I wanted to see. When they're jerky like that, I find that they don't treat me as well, including being much less kind and giving.

I exercised today very intensely, a very new thing for me. With my delicate health, I didn't even think I would be able to exert myself as much as I did. That plus a bit of shopping, browsing, etc. And now I'm beat! I was so relaxed after that intense exercise session, I was just floating around-- very much in procrastination mode.

I asked myself what was it that I was dreading so much about seeing clients, and I just think it's the stress of meeting someone I don't know in situation that poses so many risks. That, plus the stress of finding their place, getting ready, etc., the potential for intimacy--- Tuesday tends to be a slow night anyway. That, plus I always feel a bit of tension, somehow telling myself that my service is illegitimate, contraband. This always puts a damper on my motivation.

I'm so zonked that even though I had a call come in anyway, I decided to wait until tomorrow to answer it.

Tomorrow should be better. I have much less to do, and Wednesdays are generally better luck anyway.

I hope I have all my motivation and shit together tomorrow! Plus I really hope that I get a better response than I've been getting-- I'm really down to the wire financially now.

I get a bit discouraged when things go like this.