Ha-Ha-- 6 months later!

I just checked this out! I'm glad that "Ex-Courtesan" is still around, feisty-er than ever! I lot has changed since I first started this blog-- shows you how far I have come!

What will I tell you next?

Ha Ha Ha -- almost a a year later!

How I've grown! No real need to be very secretive any longer. It's amazing that I'm still here. I was reading about the "Lover" archetype, and it finally led me back here! Glad to hear Gillette is still hanging in there, and still lists me on her blogroll!

Gee, shall I bring you up to date? Let me meditate on that one.

Emphasizing "Hands-On Healing" Makes Things Easier

I've limited my practice to hands-on healing, and I'm finding the work much less demanding, even though at times my compensation is less. I've also limited the time so that everything works out better.

Besides, this way, it will be much easier to find a boyfriend.

I can still do as I please if the mood strikes me. My main practice is simply hands-on, and that has made things much easier.

I'm learning every day how to better manage things.

I Believe in What I Do, But It Can Be Stressful at Times...

I'm grateful to be able to do what I do as a relatively free agent, but it can be very stressful. I am continually battling within in my own mind, not about the value or ethics of what I do, but the respectability of it. Since people don't respect it in many places, how valuable could it be?

Yet I can find no reason to de-value it other than "public opinion."

And that's really no reason at all!

Furthermore, I need to be very careful to protect myself. I advertise for free, but some web sites place restrictions on how, when, and why I can advertise. So I'm learning to work around that.

Yet really, my work is holy, and I believe that I am coming from a healing, loving, holy place, which is all too rare. I need to learn to value these things above "public opinion."

My own physical limitations make this work necessary for me, and I need remember that also, rather than blaming myself for not having achieved more in the conventional sense.

Too Tired to See Clients Tonight...

My health has been a real struggle, and in fact, that is one important reason that I'm in this business, although albeit not the only one.

Still, I'm somewhat excited about my new approach to this business, which I have only barely started. And I am thinking quite a bit (obsessing) about another new business that I want to start. Because I wish to remain anonymous, I am not in a position to say what it is. I'm really sorry about that. If this were Europe or Canada, I'd be more open.

Sometimes I feel hopeless about the new business, but most other times, optimistic, at intervals, excited. Doing this sensual business allows me what I need to be able to build a business that is even closer to my dreams of what I'd like to be doing.

Of course, I believe in and honor sensual healing, so it isn't that. But it's not my highest calling, although a mixed blessing of a step on the way-- likely, allowing my highest dreams to bear fruit.

So although I'm down physically, mentally, I am in a very good space. I definitely feel grateful.

Both of my colleagues on my links taking a break...

Who knows whether these will be temporary or permanent? I wonder if it is a coincidence that they both taking breaks at the same time? As for me, I'm still here, although not very regularly. I'm thinking about starting another business, and I've also begun to make some changes regarding how I run this one.

I'm really excited about both, plus I have two other businesses that I run (all of this from home) on a very limited basis.

One of my clients last year referred to me as "always growing," and I think that's true. And it's also true, as someone who knows me well recently pointed out, that I am impatient with people who are not very willing to grow. Often, these very same people admire me for my growth!

Anyway, willingness to grow has always been important to me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

If It's So Great, Then Why All The Doubt?

I'm glad that you asked. Well, there are many behaviors in society that were once reviled, that are now admired. Take education and science. At one time, anyone who dared question the wisdom of the Catholic Church was risking jail, public flogging, or death. Think of the Underground Railroad, or spies for the Resistance during WW II. At one time deplored, these people are now remembered as the bravest and greatest of heroes.

But, now what we have here is what I believe is the Final Frontier. What we have is professional choice that involves the Practitioner very intimately with the client. This may be forbidden and reviled in many circles, but it is actually holy work.

My claim is not that I never suffer from self-doubt; quite the contrary. My claim is that, when all is said and done, both my heart and mind recognize what is for me both a higher and a deeper Truth.

Our entire country is rooted in heroes who arrived here for religious freedom. Their beliefs and practices were considered sacrilege.

So, although I am confident that what I am doing is for the good of individuals, society, and the Universe, and that it is done from Love, still I stuggle with how some others might view me if they had even an inkling of what it is that I do. So I don't go around telling the whole world that I am a Sensual Healer. Most people simply wouldn't understand, and I am risking my own well-being by possibly exposing myself to the distorted judgments of others.

There was a time when virtually all gays were in the closet. It simply wasn't safe or practical to be Out. As I said, this may be the Final Frontier.

Hi, LTNTT*, Still Sensual...

*LTNTT= Long Time No Talk To.

I'm still doing OK with my business, although I still have my ups and downs about being in this business in the first place. But the funny thing is, I do love connecting with people on all of these sensual and spiritual levels.

I feel grateful to have an Internet onto which promote my business, and grateful to have a blog like this. If it weren't for the Internet, "Female Ejaculation" would not be an asset.

Being in this business gives me tremendous freedom. I'm in business for myself. I can work from home. I can pick my clients. I choose when to wake up, when to go to sleep. I can enjoy sensual and spiritual connection and more with the people of my choice. I'm not forced to live in a wage slave prison or a marriage prison. This makes it much easier to be true to myself, which I am.

Lucky, lucky me.